When you think about your relationship with your partner, I want you to think about a bank account. I know. I know. It does sound silly, doesn’t it? But hear me out for a minute.
In order to save for a big purchase, we need to break it down and save a little bit at a time. Five dollars here and five dollars there can quickly add up to a large chunk of money that you can then use for something really nice. This same approach to investing can also be applied to your relationship. Instead of it being a five dollar bill, it may be a small act of kindness, a kiss on the cheek, or a gentle positive gesture that you give your partner to show them that you care.
You want to continue to strive to work towards building your relationship bank account. Why is this important? Well, it is inevitable that you and your partner will have a large disagreement, argument, or will feel some level of distance in the future. The small acts of kindness and loving gestures go a great deal in assuring you and your partner that you are a team. If you have a strong relationship bank account, the minor hurts, insults, or instances where you feel disrespected, can easily be overlooked and forgiven.
The next time you have that big argument with your partner, I want you to rest assured knowing that you are actually in a pretty good place. The trouble comes when we have a large disagreement and we have done little previously to build that bank account up. So all of a sudden, that large disagreement feels even larger. We can’t challenge the negative thoughts that surface surrounding the hurt or pain we may feel. We don’t have any residual positive emotions from previous small positive interactions. We may even start to question ourselves, the relationship, and feel a sense of hopelessness.
So, moving forward, I encourage you to start thinking of the little gestures you can do to show your partner that you care. You might give them a kiss before you walk out the door, help put the kids to bed, or even just a simple word of affirmation for the good things your partner does for you.
This does not have to be large, grand gestures. Going back to the bank account example, five dollars isn’t a lot of money. But, when saved consistently, it adds up over time. Sometimes it adds up to something great.